What women billionaires teach us about self-care and success
and how to apply it to your life
I’ve spent years working behind the scenes as an executive assistant and property manager for ultra-high-net-worth individuals, watching firsthand how the wealthiest people structure their lives. Their success often isn’t random—it’s structured, intentional, and deeply rooted in their habits. But what struck me the most was how their concept of self-care isn’t just about luxury; it was about discipline, strategy, and sustainability
There’s a version of self-care that feels safe—bubble baths, face masks, and a “treat yourself” mentality that encourages indulgence as a form of restoration. And then there’s the kind of self-care that stretches you, pushes you past resistance, and forces you to claim the life you truly want. The kind that is a choice, not just a reaction to burnout.
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on what it takes to create lasting success—not just in wealth, but in well-being, confidence, and personal freedom. I came across a video from School of Hard Knocks that analyzed the journeys of self-made women billionaires. What struck me wasn’t their business strategies—it was the way they think, the way they move, and the way they prioritize themselves in a world that constantly demands they shrink.
As an entrepreneur, I realize that the same principles that create long-term financial success are also what make self-care sustainable. It’s not just about indulging in moments of relief—it’s about creating a life where self-care, personal growth, and success are inevitable.
These women didn’t just get lucky. Their stories aren’t just about money. They designed their lives for success. And embedded within that success were habits of self-care. They are about radical self-ownership. And that, at its core, is the highest form of self-care.
Here’s what I learned—and how you can apply these lessons to your own life.
The Oil Business Millionaire: Confidence, Leverage, and Financial Mastery
Rahki was 21 years old when she closed a $28 million deal. Not because she had years of experience. Not because she came from money. But because she understood something that most women struggle:
Closed mouths don’t get fed.
She doesn’t hesitate to ask for what she wants. Whether it’s money, opportunities, partnerships, or access—she asks. And she does it with the understanding that “you’re not asking the wrong question, you’re asking th wrong person”, and eventually the answer will be yes.
When she talks about money, she doesn’t see it as something to fear. She sees it as a tool. She borrows it, leverages it, and makes it work for her instead of hoarding it out of fear.
And the biggest lesson? She plays the game differently. While most people are afraid of debt, she uses it to build wealth.
Key Takeaway: You don’t get what you deserve—you get what you have the confidence to ask for. Watch the video starting at 1:30 to receive more of her insights.
What This Means for Us
How many times have you hesitated to ask for what you really wanted?
A raise. A different role. More support in your personal life. Less responsibility for things that aren’t even yours to carry.
Women are conditioned to wait until they’ve “earned” the right to ask—but billionaires don’t play by those rules. They ask first and figure it out later.
And when it comes to money, the same principle applies. Wealth isn’t just about how much you make. It’s about how well you use what you have.
Women are often conditioned to be accommodating, to avoid being "difficult," to feel guilty for wanting more. But it’s unlikely that someone will offer you a better life on a silver platter—so, you have to ask for it.
I have worked with some great people, but one of the most fascinating was someone in oil and gas. It was an industry I knew nothing about at first, but watching how money moved in that world was eye-opening—both currently and historically.
For my client, his success wasn’t about drilling wells or having a background in engineering. It was about relationships. His early wealth didn’t come from working in the fields—it came from knowing the right people, securing the right leases, and leveraging partnerships (and eventually leveraging his money in real estate in Bel Air and Beverly Hills).
These deals were built on negotiation, access, and a deep understanding of leverage. His wealth came from knowing how to structure a deal, how to make others feel like they were winning, and how to take a percentage of something much bigger. In working with my clients, I have seen (and been coached on) how having the right conversations can change the trajectory of your success journey.
My Self Honeymoon® Insight:
Start asking for what you want—daily. It doesn’t have to be financial. It could be asking for help, asking for a discount, asking for more time, asking for a free upgrade (my personal favorite). The point is to get comfortable making the request.
Educate yourself on money. Read a book, take a class, or simply start tracking your spending. Financial self-care is about knowing how to protect and grow what you have.
Look at your relationships as leverage, not just connections. Who in your life has access to information, deals, or opportunities that could help you in your industry? Start thinking about ways to create win-win situations. Emphasis on their win.
Follow Rahki’s story on Instagram: @rahkigiovanni
Check out Rahki’s YouTube: Rahki G TV
The Solidcore Founder: Discipline as the Highest Form of Self-Respect
Anne took $175,000 of her own money and turned it into a $100 million business—because she was willing to bet on herself.
She doesn’t wake up at 5:30 AM because she’s obsessed with productivity. She does it because discipline creates freedom. Freedom within her health, not simply her bank accounts and assets.
Her favorite quote? “Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.”
She doesn’t avoid difficult things. She leans into them. Because she knows that every “hard” choice she makes today—getting up early, eating well, staying consistent—makes her life easier in the long run.
Key Takeaway: Discipline is not about restriction. It’s about self-respect.
What This Means for Us
Discipline isn’t about forcing yourself into routines that don’t align with you. It’s about making choices that honor the future version of yourself.
It’s deciding that your peace matters enough to stop answering calls from people who drain you.
It’s choosing to move your body because strength is something you deserve.
It’s saying no to things that disrupt your focus because your dreams are worth protecting.
Most of the time, we don’t struggle with discipline because we’re lazy. We struggle because we don’t see ourselves as people who are allowed to have standards. This billionaire doesn’t view discipline as suffering. She views it as an act of self-love. Watch the video starting at 5:20 to receive more of her insights.
My Self Honeymoon® Insight:
Pick one hard choice you’ve been avoiding and commit to it for 30 days. Whether it’s taking cold showers every morning, waking up at the same time daily, or setting boundaries with your phone at night—watch how it transforms you.
Reframe discipline as self-care. Instead of saying, “I have to do this,” say, “I am doing this because I deserve a life that is peaceful, structured, and full of ease.”
Follow Anne’s story on Instagram: @annemahlum
Check out Anne’s Website: www.annemahlum.com
The “It’s a 10” Haircare Founder: Resilience, Passion, and Playing the Long Game
Carolyn’s first company collapsed completely. She lost everything. But instead of quitting, she pivoted. She created just one product—a single bottle of haircare (which I’m sure you’ve used)—and focused on making it exceptional.
She refused to sell early equity in her company, meaning she retained full ownership, full creative control, and full financial profit. And when she finally "made it"? She didn’t measure success by what she had, but by what she did with what she had.
Key Takeaway: You don’t need perfect conditions to start. You just need patience, clarity, and the ability to play the long game.
What This Means for Us
How often do you talk yourself out of starting something because you don’t feel “ready”?
Waiting until you have more confidence.
Waiting until you have more time.
Waiting until you have everything figured out.
Waiting until you have more money, more energy, more certainty.
But this billionaire didn’t wait for perfect conditions. She worked with what she had and made it excellent. She stayed in her lane and built momentum before expanding. Watch the video starting at 11:11 to receive more of her insights.
My Self Honeymoon® Insight:
Pick one goal and strip it down to its simplest form. If you want to eat healthier, start by donating any unopened junk foods if you have them, and research healthier alternatives. If you want to start a business, take an assessment for your strengths and skills, and identify one one offer you can execute well.
Reframe failure as data, not defeat. Write down a past "failure" and three things it taught you. Use some of that wisdom to help fuel your next step.
Follow Carolyn’s story on Instagram: @itsa10ceo
Check out Carolyn’s LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/carolynaronson
What These Women Teach Us About Sustainable Self-Work™
These women didn’t just practice self-care—they built systems that made their success inevitable. They designed their lives in a way that allowed them to sustain their success without self-destruction. And that’s the real difference between temporary motivation and Sustainable Self-Work™.
Self-care is often marketed as an escape—a momentary break from the chaos of life. But Sustainable Self-Work™ is about creating a life that doesn’t require constant escape. It’s about the habits, routines, and mindset shifts that ensure your growth isn’t dependent on fleeting bursts of motivation. It’s about the structure you build around yourself, so that taking care of yourself isn’t optional—it’s inevitable.
Here’s how you can integrate their lessons into your own life:
1. Invest in Yourself Like Your Future Depends on It (Because It Does)
Success isn’t just about talent. It’s about continuous evolution. Every single one of these women bet on themselves—whether it was learning the financial game, investing in their own companies, or doubling down on their skills.
Ask yourself: How often do you hesitate to invest in your own growth?
Maybe it’s delaying therapy because you feel like you should handle things on your own.
Maybe it’s not taking that course because you’re unsure if it’s “worth it.”
Maybe it’s not launching that project because you’re afraid it won’t be perfect.
Women are too conditioned to justify every investment in themselves. But let’s be real—how many things have you spent money on that didn’t truly serve you? A night out, impulsive shopping, another streaming subscription? What if, instead, you started betting on yourself with that same energy?
My Self-Work Challenge: Make one bold investment in yourself this month. It could be financial (a course, a mentor, a new skill) or energetic (dedicating time to your personal growth, prioritizing deep rest). Whatever it is, commit fully.
2. Curate Your Network—Because Who You Surround Yourself With Shapes Everything
If there’s one common thread among successful women, it’s this:
They are intentional about who they allow into their space.
Your network either pulls you forward or holds you back.
So, if the people around you downplay your ambitions, it gets harder to dream big.
If they normalize burnout, struggle, and settling, you might start to believe that’s all there is.
If they aren’t growing, evolving, or pushing themselves, you might unconsciously start shrinking.
One of the billionaires in the video said: “If I lost everything, I could make it back in 10 phone calls.” That’s the power of having a strong network. Not just connections for the sake of knowing people—but relationships that are built on value, reciprocity, and shared ambition.
My Self-Work Challenge: Audit your circle. Who are the five people you talk to most often? Do they inspire you, challenge you, and encourage your growth? If not, it might be time to expand your environment. Find mentors, join communities, or start surrounding yourself with people who remind you of the woman you are becoming—not just one you’ve been.
3. Prioritize Your Well-Being Like Your Success Depends on It (Because It Does)
Burnout is not a badge of honor. It’s a warning sign that something needs to change. If you struggle with this, I have some free resources you can dive into.
What if your well-being wasn’t something you squeezed into your schedule—but something you built your schedule around?
Imagine not waiting until you’re exhausted to rest.
Imagine not needing a vacation just to recover from your daily life.
Imagine feeling clear-headed, well-rested, and at peace—without needing to "earn" it first.
Every single one of these women had rituals and routines that sustained them. They weren’t running on fumes. They understood that their mindset, energy, and physical health directly impacted their ability to lead, create, and expand.
My Self-Work Challenge: Identify one area of your well-being that you’ve been neglecting. Maybe it’s sleep. Maybe it’s movement. Maybe it’s emotional processing. Commit to prioritizing it for the next 30 days.
4. Stay a Student for Life—Because Growth Never Ends
The most successful people never stop learning. They remain curious, open, and willing to evolve.
The question is—are you still learning?
Are you still reading, listening, questioning, and exploring?
Are you still expanding your perspective—or just reinforcing what you already know?
Are you actively seeking wisdom—or waiting for life to force you into growth?
These women weren’t just masters of their craft. They were students of life.
My Self-Work Challenge: Pick one new topic to study this month. It doesn’t have to be for your career. It could be personal development, financial literacy, philosophy, spirituality—anything that expands your understanding of yourself and the world.
5. Trust Your Own Path—Even When No One Else Understands It
Not everyone is going to understand your vision. That’s okay. Just as long as you don’t keep waiting for validation from people who don’t reflect the life or values that you want.
Stop explaining yourself to people who will never see the bigger picture.
Stop shrinking to make others comfortable with your choices.
Stop looking for reassurance in places that only plant more doubt.
Trusting yourself means making decisions based on what aligns with you—not what looks good to other people.
My Self-Work Challenge: Identify one decision you’ve been hesitating on because of other people’s opinions. Now, ask yourself: If no one else’s judgment mattered, what would I choose? Now, commit to making that decision without the next 24 hours.
Self-Care Is a Power Move
These women didn’t just build businesses—they built pathways to freedom. And that freedom wasn’t just financial—it was mental, emotional, and physical.
My biggest takeaway? Self-care isn’t about escaping your life—it’s about designing a life you don’t need to escape from.
It’s about:
The daily choices you make.
The way you manage your time.
The way you protect your energy.
The way you advocate for yourself in every space you walk into.
My Self-Work Challenge: Choose one bold self-care move this month. Maybe it’s setting a much needed boundary. Maybe it’s investing in yourself with a certification program. Maybe it’s changing a habit that no longer serves you—like doom scrolling. Track your progress, reflect on how it makes you feel, and keep showing up for yourself.
Consider what would happen if, just for today, you trusted yourself enough to take one bold step toward the life you actually want?
Because in the end, the biggest difference between the people who create extraordinary lives and the ones who don’t isn’t talent, luck, or resources.
It’s the willingness to decide.
So, what will you decide today?